Matt's Blog

Ah, yes, finally Google’s famous April Fools Joke has been released. Google TiSP (which stands for Toilet Internet Service Provider) (BETA) is a “free in-home wireless broadband system”.

Sign up for our free in-home wireless broadband service

Sick of paying for broadband that you have to, well, pay for?

Introducing Google TiSP (BETA), our new FREE in-home wireless broadband service. Sign up today and we’ll send you your TiSP self-installation kit, which includes setup guide, fiber-optic cable, spindle, wireless router and installation CD.

TiSP in-home wireless broadband is:

• Free, fast and highly reliable
• Easy to install — takes just minutes
• Vacuum-sealed to prevent water damage

All you have to do to install it is, after receiving the TiSP self-installation kit from Google, to hold the spindle of the included fiber optic cable firmly, attach the “sinker” to the other end, stick the end with the “sinker” on it in the toilet and have someone flush the toilet. Then, plug the end not in your sewer system to the special counterweighted router, run the installation software from the disk included in the Kit (of course installing the required Google Toolbar) and then within sixty minutes (after a Google Plumbing Hardware Dispatcher [PHD] has received the other end and removed the “sinker” from it and plugged it into their global networking system) you’ll have your free Internet up and running. Complete installation instructions can be found here:

http://www.google.com/tisp/install.html

Yep, free Internet, from Google. Oh, what’s that, it’s also ad-supported, hmm, thought so, most free Google Products are. They’re relevant Ads from samples of your DNA, erm, interesting… You may also want to think a lot about your privacy before signing up with this service, especially since the Co-Founder and President of Google released this statement in the Press Release for Google TiSP:

“What’s interesting, though, is how many different modalities there are for actually getting that information to you – not to mention from you.”

Now, if you’re not up to installing TiSP yourself, you can get some factory-trained nanobots to do it for you, professionally, and within 15 minutes.

Of course, the TiSP Team also got together with the Google Checkout Team and also offers Package Delivery by nanobots through your sewers, if you got professional installation.

This is actually a good April Fools Joke. Google just keeps coming up with better and better April Fools Jokes each year.

John Chow has decided to stop Blogging and sold his company TTZ Media Inc. Nice April Fools joke, but not really believable, and I’m sure it’s been done hundreds of times before.

Gmail Paper, a nice Gmail/Google April Fools joke. Also on Gmail’s 3rd Birthday (well, tomorrows Gmail’s Birthday, but they released this joke early).

New! Introducing Gmail Paper
Everyone loves Gmail. But not everyone loves email, or the digital era. What ever happened to stamps, filing cabinets, and the mailman? Well, you asked for it, and it’s here. We’re bringing it back.

A New Button
Now in Gmail, you can request a physical copy of any message with the click of a button, and we’ll send it to you in the mail.

Simplicity Squared
Google will print all messages instantly and prepare them for delivery. Allow 2-4 business days for a parcel to arrive via post.

Total Control
A stack of Gmail Paper arrives in a box at your doorstep, and it’s yours to keep forever. You can read it, sort it, search it, touch it. Or even move it to the trash—the real trash. (Recycling is encouraged.)

Keep it Secret, Keep it Safe
Google takes privacy very seriously. But once your email is physically in your hands, it’s as secure as you want to make it.

Learn more about Gmail Paper

So basically, you’d hit the “Paper Archive” Button and in 2-4 business days, you’ll receive all your emails printed out. All this for free because of relevant Advertisements printed on the back of the Papers in Red, Bold, 36pt Helvetica font. Ya, reeeeeeal believable, Google. Still funny, though.

Matt Cutts’ Blog Hacked, ShoeMoney Shut Down and TechCrunch Acquiring Fucked Company. All good April Fools jokes. Of course, you may not have suspected these to be April Fools jokes, since April Fools is tomorrow. 😛

Matt Cutts’ Blog being “Hacked” might have been a little less obvious as an April Fools Joke if not just /blog/ had been “Hacked”.

ShoeMoney being Shut Down, less obvious, but a simple refresh gets you back to the normal site.

TechCrunch Acquiring FuckedCompany actually does seem like it could be real, but still suspicious.

Google’s April Fools jokes are usually good, so look out for that.

I’ll probably post more April Fools jokes tomorrow/later.